Skymall “Technology”

Just flew from Philadelphia to Los Angeles and was, of course, doing what everyone does when they fly US Air: reading SkyMall. I have to say, there is nothing like SkyMall to get you through the long, boring hours, especially when you’re a gadget geek. Here are the things I found that I have never seen before on Gizmodo or ThinkGeek and that I kind of want but don’t know why, which is the SkyMall’s genius: making you want things you don’t really need.

First up, the Beamz Interactive Music System, which is sort of a theramin for idiots. You pass your hands through the laser beams and “jazz up your favorite tunes with hundreds of sounds and instruments.” Hooks up to your USB and makes you look extrememly foolish.

The Litter Robot Bubble Unit, which is a self-cleaning cat litter structure that looks like a combination between an igloo and a spacesuit helmet. I’m quite sure Stormtroopers used this for their cats, though it comes in gray too, in case you’re Vader.

In the Inventor’s Showcase, there’s the Wristband iPhone Holder, which all of us have made at one time or another with a hair band or rubber band or something so that we can have it on our wrist while we make the bed. It’s a little ridiculous looking, though. Who wants to have their enormous iPhone strapped to their wrist with a cumbersome band? I don’t know.

For those who miss the aesthetic of old hard-wired phones, the iPhone Desktop Handset will help. It’s also good if you’re misplacing your phone in your house all the time. Like an old phone, this setup keeps your iPhone in once place. Plus, the handset makes it easier to talk on the phone, and it’s only $60.

Calling all Harry Potter fans, Hammacher Schlemmer (do they sell anywhere other than SkyMall?) offers the Magic Wand Remote Control. It looks just like a lush Potter-style wand but with the flick of a wrist it changes volume, channels and other controls. You teach the wand with the remote, and can program it to respond to small flicks or grandiose gestures. Note: You will look like an asshole if you use this.

Here’s what I want: the Voice-Activated R2-D2. It’s 6 lbs. and a little over a foot tall and it responds to your voice commands (and perhaps to your goofy wand, but I’m not sure). The lights, beeps and clicks, as well as swiveling head, will bring you back, especially because it’s programmed to play dialogue from the movie, including the cantina music. Best of all, the description says it faithfully mimics the real R2’s “bad mood,” which is just adorable.

To get all this crap you absolutely don’t need—and more—go to SkyMall.com.